Local Blogger Takes Four Days Off; Nobody Notices

By: Josh McClown
Crab Staff Writer

BALTIMORE – A local blogger, who prides himself on a decent following in the blogosphere, has not posted anything to his blog in four days. Despite his self-described loyal following in the blogging community, the blogger is saddened to find that there is no evidence to suggest that anyone cared that he had not posted in that time.

“Not one single email, or comment, or text-message, nothing.” said the blogger in a depressing tone. “I was busy over the holiday, but I sort of didn’t post on purpose because I wanted to feel missed. I was wrong.”

This particular blogger blogs about various topics in his life including his job, his political beliefs, his social life, his apartment, and some creative writing samples that he had come up with. He had become known in the blogoshpere as a rising star for his commentary on modern pop culture and his vivid descriptions on what he did most weekend nights.

“I was on my way up. I had some great regular readers who would always leave good comments and send great emails.” he explained. “I just hope that they haven’t found someone else’s blog to read in the meantime that they like better than mine.”

According to blog experts, blogging is not supposed to be a “scheduled” activity, meaning that one should only post when circumstances warrant rather than post for the sake of posting. However, this blogger contends that readership is equally as important to keeping proper blogging practice.

“I mean, if nobody reads it, then what is the point?” he declared. “I mean there isn’t even any chatter at all about my blog. Not even talking bad about me. I may already be out of the sphere.”

Even though there is no record of any online chatter about his fledgling blog, sources close to the Baltimore blogosphere do suggest that his blog was already losing readers due to flat content and what once source called “irrelevant BS”, which in the blog world is considered to be extraordinarily bad.

“No way man, my content was rock solid, your sources are wrong!” he yelled, “I took a gamble to gauge how much they liked me and I just held out too long, that’s the only lesson learned here. Its all about the quantity.”

When presented with this quote, the source reiterated, “Yep, sounds like the attitude of a blogger who was just not on the same page as the rest of us.”