Monday, December 05, 2005

Maryland’s Political “Prince of Darkness” Downgraded To “Prince of Early Dusk”


By: James Olsen
Crab Political Reporter


ANNAPOLIS – Governor Ehrlich’s former right hand man and self proclaimed political bad-boy Joe Steffen has been officially downgraded from Prince of Darkness to Prince of Early Dusk according to several sources inside the FPRS (Fantasy Political Ranking Society). The announcement comes many months after Steffen’s firing from the Ehrlich administration and a recent interview with a local television news program.

The sources also report that his new ranking is one typically given to novice political operatives and public relations agents.

“This is not a small deal for Mr. Steffen. Early dusk is much brighter than late dusk, early evening, and nightfall. He has been bumped down several notches.” said a source inside the FPRS. “The King of Zero-Light takes these rankings very seriously and it is going to very difficult for Mr. Steffen to get back to darkness status.”

Steffen was known throughout Maryland political circles as a guy who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted in Annapolis. He was a rising star in the Republican Party and a trusted political advisor to Governor Ehrlich. Because of his “no holds barred” attitude the FPRS had authorized Mr. Steffen to proclaim himself the Prince of Darkness.

Steffen’s firing, which came earlier this year, was fueled by a Washington Post article that named Steffen as the person who was posting remarks about Baltimore’s Mayor Martin O’Malley on a political internet site.

“You see, this is what we would characterize as gossip. And according to FPRS tradition, that is more of something old retired witches do by the caldron, where a true Prince of Darkness would never be found.” said the source from the FPRS. “Spreading gossip is not something an aspiring Prince, Wizard, Emperor or King of Darkness would do and to remind Mr. Steffen, the King of Zero Light has bumped him down according to the magic code of fantasy political titles.”

While Mr. Steffen continues to try and revive his political career, he does so minus the title “Prince of Darkness”.

2 comments:

Bo said...

Love the faux scoops, hon! Saw you via Sun article. Being in the Baltimore Metro area as well,I had an idea for a local fake news parody blog about 8 months ago, but good thing I didn't follow through, because mine would have sucked! Keep dishing the good dirt...

Bone
http://bonesmith.blogspot.com/

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