By: Greg Bourbonsky
Crab Education Reporter
CARROLL COUNTY – Carroll County Public School students are not reading this article right now because it was banned from being viewed in the schools’ libraries and computer labs. After recent stories published by the Crab involving severe gluttony, political mythological parody, and general free thought, the Carroll County schools' administration decided to ban this publication deeming it inappropriate for viewing on school grounds. The administration feels that humor and fun has no place on the computer screens of any of its schools.
The Crab is not the first casualty of the “Get Tough on Fun” campaign taking place in schools as the administration has recently banned a popular book about an overweight girl who struggles to fit in at her school. The administration apparently felt that the book was too far apart from reality. Sources close to the administration said that it finds it almost impossible to believe that any of its students would be overweight or have trouble fitting in with the social scenes at school.
The source close to the situation also claims that the administration is considering passing measures that would virtually ban students from reading any written prose other than the school handbook, the Bible, and anything published by Pre-Pixar Disney.
School officials were not called by this publication for comment as they wouldn’t even be allowed to read their comments anyway.
While the Carroll County Schools rush to ban these corrupt pieces of literature, the rest of Maryland schools and most of the country’s schools are still allowing inappropriate pieces such as “Harry Potter”, “The Lord of The Rings”, “The Barenstein Bears”, “Encyclopedia Brown”, “The Hardy Boys”, and the controversial “Babysitter’s Club” to corrupt the minds of innocent students who just want to read to have fun.
Since there appear to be no overweight students making light of their social problems in any Carroll County school, it appears that the schools have dodged a huge problem by banning these pieces of writing just early enough before that issue sets in amongst the student body, who is not even reading this article right now.
1 comment:
So much for nurturing independent thinking in our students. We are raising a generation of zombies that cannot think for themselves. Maybe there will be an exodus of students and parents from Carroll County because of this. Shades of Hitler and chairman Mao.
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