Public Transportation Upgrade Seen As 'Infeasible'
By: John and Josh McClown
Crab Staff Writers
BALTIMORE – Not to be outdone by the new $23 million pledge from Baltimore City Hall to upgrade downtown traffic patterns, the county government is now calling for a total upgrade on the Beltway. This upgrade includes the construction of an upper deck over the current highway.
“It just makes sense. If we add lanes, traffic is better for only a few months. But if we add a whole new beltway in addition to the current one, it may get better for a few years and that would be something,” said a spokesperson from the County Transportation Administration. “I actually think it’s brilliant, instead of an inner loop and outer loop, it’ll be an upper loop and lower loop.”
When asked about the costs of this proposal as compared to an investment into a public transportation system connecting county suburbs and the city the same spokesman said, “We have looked into that as a possible solution, but feel that it is infeasible to build a rail system as compared to building a gigantic highway on top of another one. The beltway idea makes way more sense.”
The spokesperson also described a double-decker beltway as having endless positives aside from temporary easing of traffic volume. One of these positives mentioned is the ability to avoid rain by driving on the lower loop when it is raining.
“Also, with a covered lower loop, this will save the county some money every winter because we won’t have to plow or salt it,” the spokesperson explained. “With people sticking the lower loop, they may need to drive longer to get home, which may lead to them buying more gas, which may lead to higher tax revenues for the county and state. Meanwhile, people using the upper loop will be able to drive shorter distances, albeit in the rain, but will sit in less traffic and use less gas. You see, it all balances out.”
While nobody inside the Maryland Department of Transportation was available for comment, sources close to the D.O.T. claim the Department has “no idea what the hell the county is talking about”.
By: John and Josh McClown
Crab Staff Writers
BALTIMORE – Not to be outdone by the new $23 million pledge from Baltimore City Hall to upgrade downtown traffic patterns, the county government is now calling for a total upgrade on the Beltway. This upgrade includes the construction of an upper deck over the current highway.
“It just makes sense. If we add lanes, traffic is better for only a few months. But if we add a whole new beltway in addition to the current one, it may get better for a few years and that would be something,” said a spokesperson from the County Transportation Administration. “I actually think it’s brilliant, instead of an inner loop and outer loop, it’ll be an upper loop and lower loop.”
When asked about the costs of this proposal as compared to an investment into a public transportation system connecting county suburbs and the city the same spokesman said, “We have looked into that as a possible solution, but feel that it is infeasible to build a rail system as compared to building a gigantic highway on top of another one. The beltway idea makes way more sense.”
The spokesperson also described a double-decker beltway as having endless positives aside from temporary easing of traffic volume. One of these positives mentioned is the ability to avoid rain by driving on the lower loop when it is raining.
“Also, with a covered lower loop, this will save the county some money every winter because we won’t have to plow or salt it,” the spokesperson explained. “With people sticking the lower loop, they may need to drive longer to get home, which may lead to them buying more gas, which may lead to higher tax revenues for the county and state. Meanwhile, people using the upper loop will be able to drive shorter distances, albeit in the rain, but will sit in less traffic and use less gas. You see, it all balances out.”
While nobody inside the Maryland Department of Transportation was available for comment, sources close to the D.O.T. claim the Department has “no idea what the hell the county is talking about”.
1 comment:
If D.O.T. has no idea what the county is talking about, does the county. Makes one wonder what the county spokesperson is smoking
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