Crab Sports Report: Perlozzo Successfully Informs Flanagan That Tejada Is O’s Best Player

By: Roger Flinnery
Crab Sports Writer

CAMDEN YARDS – Orioles Manager Sam Perlozzo has successfully informed General Manager Mike Flanagan that Miguel Tejada is, in fact, not only a good baseball player, but the best player on the team. This revelation comes after Tejada hinted that he wanted to be traded from the club as he is unhappy with the Orioles’ direction as team.

“General Manager Flanagan is now aware of the importance of Miguel Tejada to this team and will now accordingly try to solve this current problem with Miguel.” said a spokesman from the GM’s Office. “Also, the GM does now understand that he does need to talk to Miguel and perhaps maybe do things that would indicate that the Orioles are moving in a direction other than reverse.”

According to sources close to the team, Sam Perlozzo became suspicious after various reports had surfaced that Miguel did request a trade and that Mike Flanagan seemed to have done nothing about it. Acting on a hunch, Perlozzo contacted Flanagan informing him that Miguel is the center of progress for the team and that the easiest way to inform Miguel, as well as all of Baltimore, that the Orioles are moving in a forward direction is to keep Tejada in an O’s uniform.

The O’s spokesperson also reiterated that the General Manager now has a firm grasp on all of the Orioles’ personnel assets and which of those players are definite keepers.

“We now have a memo being circulated around the front office with some very important phrases such as ‘Tejada=Good, Roberts=Good, Mora=Good, Bedard=Good, Lopez=Good’ and so on”.

The spokesperson declared that this new method of communication will prevent another episode of confusion if another key member of the team wants to be traded.

While the Tejada issue still remains unresolved, it is now confirmed that the Orioles’ front office does realize that Miguel is a good player and that it is important that he remain an Oriole.