Ehrlich Hires “Technologically Challenged” Campaign Director

Campaign Still Worried About Self Given Nickname

By: James Olsen
Crab Staff Writer

ANNAPOLIS – In a move seen as preventative and necessary, Governor Ehrlich hired a new director for his upcoming gubernatorial campaign based on the fact that he doesn’t know what the internet is or even how to use a computer.

Bo Harmon, a veteran Republican political operative, seemed an attractive choice for the Ehrlich ’06 campaign because of his successful campaigns in the past as well as the fact that he doesn’t know a blog from a hole in the wall.

“Mr. Harmon brings high skills in political campaigning and low skills in computers,” said a spokesman from Ehrlich ’06. “While we know he will be crafting campaign message, we also can be assured his will not be gossiping in chat rooms since he barely knows what a computer does or even how to turn one on.”

The hiring of Harmon is seen by some as a reassurance that there will be no more episodes of internet gossiping about the other candidates’ personal lives such as the actions of Ehrlich’s former top advisor, Joseph Steffen.

“In our interview with Mr. Harmon, we asked if he thought Mayor O’Malley was a sharp dresser or if County Executive Duncan’s hair-style was simply fabulous,” said the Ehrlich spokesman. “He said he didn’t have an opinion so we figure he is not a gossiper.”

The one thing that still concerns some of the governor’s top advisors is the fact that Harmon, like Steffen, has a self given nickname. While Steffen went by the “Prince of Darkness” (recently downgraded to “Prince of Early Dusk”), Harmon goes by “Lord of The Underground”.

Harmon proclaimed himself by that name after his campaign for Saxby Chambliss against Senator Max Cleland, a campaign that some Democratic counterparts called despicable.

“Mr. Harmon plays hardball, we don’t deny that but the nickname thing is something we will just have to ease our way out of,” said the spokesman. “For now we are going to go with it, but every week we want to downplay it, so like next week, we will start calling him ‘Mayor of the Underground’ and so on, until we reach a point where we can call him ‘Director’.”

Although it cannot be confirmed, sources close to the hiring of Mr. Harmon do claim that he showed up for his interview holding a lit flashlight under his chin and referred to himself as “His Lordship”. Campaign officials deny that claim.