By: Ray-Ray
Local Crazy College Student
Like two years ago, when I was a freshman, a couple of my friends dared me to try to eat 6 saltines in under a minute. I had 5 completely finished with 15 seconds to go but couldn’t finish off the sixth one. I was bummed.
The next year, they dared to try to drink a gallon of milk in under an hour. Of course, I tried it because I am totally insanely crazy, but I only got 15 minutes in before I yacked all over the place. Again, I was totally bummed.
Now, my time has come. I just got done eating 25 berger cookies in a row and I am not even feeling the least bit sick. Actually, I feel great. That has got to be some sort of record or at least some sort of local triumph because these things are basically just like eating a huge pile of sugar with sugary chocolate on top. I mean these things make your teeth hurt when you eat one, let alone 25. I’m actually quite stoked.
Now, my only problem is I need to get my friends to dare me to do this. I mean, if I just break out the bergers one night say, “Hey, dudes, I can eat 25 of these things and not get sick,”, they will be like “So what?” and it won’t be considered a crazy thing to do and as we all know, I’m crazy and extreme and will do anything on a dare.
So, the plan is this. I need to get my bros to eat a few of these things, taste how sweet they are and get them to dare me to eat a bunch in a row. Hopefully, they will dare me to eat only like 15 and then I will pound 25 and they will think I am even crazier. Stoked!
The cookies are sitting all over the place in the apartment and just waiting for one of my dudes to pick one up and try it. Man, this is going to be way better than the saltine thing and the milk thing combined. This may even be better than the time I tried to chug Tabasco mized with warm cheap whiskey. Man, I am so nuts. Awesome. This plan is crazy, so crazy it just might work. There is no way I won’t be called the craziest guy to ever walk this campus. Stoked!
1 comment:
you're a retard.
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