By: Over-Educated Guy
Special to The Crab
You know, I was thinking, like I always do, about the things I love to complain about when I had, what alcoholics refer to as, a moment of clarity. What became so clear is the fact that I could not come up with any side of any issue that I wouldn’t complain about. I love bitching and complaining, no matter what the topic is.
Part of it is because I’m arrogant. I have nine college degrees and I have read over 10,000 books on my own time. I read newspapers, magazines, blogs and internet chat boards and I really get emotional about what I read. I am always right and since I am always right, I can complain about anything and never be wrong.
I live in Butchers Hill. I complain about everything in Butchers Hill. I complain about the crime and how the neighborhood needs to be cleaned up, but then I complain about the developers who actually attempt to clean the neighborhood up. I say things like “we need more police protection, but I don’t want them to arrest anyone on the street and I don’t want camera surveillance.”
I love to preserve ancient history. I want houses to be fixed on the outside, but when people do things like add color to the woodwork or a fancy light fixture, I protest the construction then I call the CRAP, I mean CHAP, until they rag the homeowner into submission. I’m just a pain in the ass like that.
If someone wants to build a roof-deck, I’m 8 feet up their ass making sure it’s done correctly and according to standards, that I, not we, I feel are appropriate. And so help me if you build a doghouse. I will not only call the city until they send out a brigade, I will post nasty things on internet chat boards with witty sayings like “What is this, Doghouse Hill? Doghouses on roofs mean the neighborhoods going to the dogs.”
You see, it’s not my fault. I just have an ego the size of Camden Yards.
Special to The Crab
You know, I was thinking, like I always do, about the things I love to complain about when I had, what alcoholics refer to as, a moment of clarity. What became so clear is the fact that I could not come up with any side of any issue that I wouldn’t complain about. I love bitching and complaining, no matter what the topic is.
Part of it is because I’m arrogant. I have nine college degrees and I have read over 10,000 books on my own time. I read newspapers, magazines, blogs and internet chat boards and I really get emotional about what I read. I am always right and since I am always right, I can complain about anything and never be wrong.
I live in Butchers Hill. I complain about everything in Butchers Hill. I complain about the crime and how the neighborhood needs to be cleaned up, but then I complain about the developers who actually attempt to clean the neighborhood up. I say things like “we need more police protection, but I don’t want them to arrest anyone on the street and I don’t want camera surveillance.”
I love to preserve ancient history. I want houses to be fixed on the outside, but when people do things like add color to the woodwork or a fancy light fixture, I protest the construction then I call the CRAP, I mean CHAP, until they rag the homeowner into submission. I’m just a pain in the ass like that.
If someone wants to build a roof-deck, I’m 8 feet up their ass making sure it’s done correctly and according to standards, that I, not we, I feel are appropriate. And so help me if you build a doghouse. I will not only call the city until they send out a brigade, I will post nasty things on internet chat boards with witty sayings like “What is this, Doghouse Hill? Doghouses on roofs mean the neighborhoods going to the dogs.”
You see, it’s not my fault. I just have an ego the size of Camden Yards.
I need a place to vent this education and these emotions I feel about these things that don’t even concern me. It doesn’t matter what happens. If you listen to me, then I will complain that you didn’t listen to me close enough.
My only advice is to ignore me, insult me and if need be, tell me to go (you know what) myself, because if it’s going on in my neighborhood, I am going to complain about it and I aint shutting up anytime soon. That’s right, I said aint, its actually an old English word that does make sense, because I said so.
1 comment:
From your title and rant, you sound like a classic underachiever..I hope someone gives you the recognition that you crave and/or values your opinion..
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