Crab Shorts

HABC Yard Sale A Total Failure

The attempt by the Housing Authority of Baltimore City to save money on the removal of old furniture and appliances from the soon to be demolished Chapel NDP Apartment Complex turned out to be a gargantuan waste of time as nobody seemed to buy any of the items or the idea in general.

“I guess there isn’t a strong demand for a bunch of old used crap that doesn’t work.” said a spokesman for the HABC.


Small Duncan Street Park Picked For New Monument

The small picturesque park located on Duncan Street has been picked as the home for the new Monument that will serve as a dedication to modern thought. The monument will read “Around Here, Common Sense Did Once Live”.


So Damn Windy, People Done Forgot How Damn Cold It Was

With the heavy winds that blew through the Baltimore Area this past weekend, sources close to the Crab confirm that the 40-50 MPH gusts made people forget how friggen cold it was outside.